He isn't sure how to say this in a way that won't sound wrong. But he knows it must be said if only to help him try and make sense of it. Wei Ying has always understood how to make Lan Zhan's sparse words into what they ought to be.

"Sometimes it is difficult to let you touch me," he finally says, fingers tightening their hold on Wei Ying in case he try to pull away. "Not, not because of Wei Ying. Not because it is not good. Hard to let myself simply take pleasure. Giving is easier."