Lan Wangji rolls onto his back, careful to keep Wei Ying close as he pulls him against his chest, running one hand down his spine. He knows Wei Ying had felt his hesitation, his struggle and he knows that Wei Ying and only Wei Ying understands why.

"Want Wei Ying to touch," he manages, trying to prevent the words from escaping him as they so often do and thankful again that Wei Ying usually understands, regardless. "Difficult but I do want it. Used to think I abhorred it. Think I was afraid of it."