yiling_laozu | (no subject)

(no subject)

It doesn't seem quite fair that the difference between Lan Wangji's usual wake time and sunrise when the curfew lifts are nearly two hours apart. Wei Wuxian, of course, wouldn't normally be awake right now to begrudge the gods their curfew, but after being largely sequestered to bedrest (Lan Wangji's, as often as possible), he's had a lot of time to draw, and last night he'd drawn something magnificent.

Wei Wuxian shuffles through his dark room, pulling his clothes on carefully so as not to aggravate his wounds, already halfway to Odinhaus the moment sunlight first pierces the darkness. Grinning, Wei Wuxian quickens his steps, looking down at the sheath of papers in his hand. When he looks up -

"Oh! Lan Zhan!"

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"Lan Zhan will be polite," he offers, a compromise as he is unsure how kindness will be needed in what should amount to a business transaction. Lan Zhan has skills to offer than he is certain are worth more than paints. Wei Ying will get what he desires.

He holds him tighter as Wei Ying leans in, nodding before leaning in for a proper kiss. He very much wishes the same. "Want to wake up to Wei Ying," he confesses against Wei Ying's warm mouth. "Want entire nights. Lan Zhan has a list."

After such a kiss, the statement is far too intriguing to go without elaborating, and Wei Wuxian picks up his bowl, finding new purpose in getting well and soon. He slurps down a large mouthful of noodles, pushing some egg in after it, and swallows.

"What sorts of things are on Lan Zhan's list?"

Lan Zhan manages not to make comment on Wei Ying's eating etiquette, telling himself that eating in bed will only be reserved for illness or injury.

He hopes.

"Hm, should not discuss details of the list when we are unable to partake in them," he decrees, ears reddening. It is ridiculous, an entire life without indulging in any pleasure at all and now his body is yearning for something after only a matter of days without.

His scarlet ears, at least, give him away, and Wei Wuxian hums around another swallow. "So mysterious, Lan Zhan," he answers. "It must be very scandalous if you dare not even speak its name. What if it is too shocking when the time comes?"

Another spoonful. "You'd better tell me now just in case."

"Wei Ying is shameless; he will not find it too shocking," he mutters, carefully rolling up the drawing and placing it to the side, out of reach of potential soup splatters.

The list is detailed but he does not think he can say any of it aloud. Not in this context. Not even alone with Wei Ying.

"Is it bad if I cannot say it?" he asks, frowning as he considers it. It can't be correct. There should not be such barriers between them.

Wei Wuxian laughs, apparently not quite shameless enough to deny it. He slurps down the last of his soup - too fast, probably, but he has other things on his mind now - and sets down the bowl.

"I don't think so," he says after a moment. "Perhaps it will be strange, at least, if you still cannot say them after we've done them." Wei Wuxian is expecting novelty, if only because he isn't well educated at all when it comes to sex, and Lan Zhan has had so many ideas before. Wei Wuxian smiles, imagining him thinking of them instead of meditating.

"You have lived almost a lifetime of believing simple pleasures are not for you."

He thinks on that, wishing he had a way to properly express his gratitude that Wei Ying considers the question thoughtfully. He does not laugh at him, does not feel offended at Lan Zhan's shortcomings. Wei Ying accepts them and can work with them. It is magnificent.

He threads his fingers through Wei Ying's kissing the soft underside of Wei Ying's wrist before speaking.

"It is hard to remain balanced. Do not know how much pleasure is too much. Do not know what is normal. Just know I want things, many things. Only with Wei Ying."

He wonders if this is another list, all the places that Lan Zhan wishes to kiss him. "I'm not sure there is such a thing as too much pleasure," he answers. "And you know I don't care about what is normal. Perhaps you will shock me," he agrees, for Lan Zhan is full of surprises, "But I'm sure I will enjoy it. I'm not afraid of this 'too much' when it comes to you, Lan Zhan. You won't hurt me, and I won't allow you to hurt yourself."

He wants to thank Wei Ying. He wants to reach down and pull out things he's never said aloud. He wants to invent new words to say how much he loves him but he cannot, he can't quite do any of it how he wants. He cannot express himself as Wei Ying is able and he finds himself so overcome that he gathers Wei Ying even closer, tucking his face against Wei Ying's neck.

"Love Wei Ying," he murmurs, still careful of his side but badly wanting to just burrow in. He wants to prevent anything from ever touching Wei Ying, ever again.

"Wei Ying is good at this. Good at being a partner."

Wei Wuxian gathers him close, stroking Lan Zhan's hair as he rests against him. "I love you, too," he says, and wonders if it's true. So many times he has struck out alone because it was right. Most of those times, of late, Lan Zhan has come with him. Perhaps it's he who is good at being a partner.

"I hope I am," he says quietly. "All I ever wanted - " he says and stops, rephrasing.
"I've always wanted to belong somewhere. Even better to someone, but it never seemed possible."

"Wei Ying has belonged to people but they were taken from him," Lan Zhan says, rubbing his thumb along Wei Ying's knuckles. He thinks of Wei Ying living on the streets as a child, hungry and afraid. He thinks of the murders of Madam Yu and Jiang Fengmian. Of the loss of Jiang Yangli.

It's too much. Far too much loss for one lifetime.

"Lan Zhan belongs to Wei Ying, now. And Wei Ying to Lan Zhan. We will watch out for each other. Keep each other safe."

Edited 2020-01-28 02:52 (UTC)

Wei Wuxian sighs. It's true that everyone he once called family is gone. In this place, even Wen Ning and A-Yuan are separated from him. Lan Zhan is enough. He will always be more than enough, but even so, Wei Wuxian misses them all so much.

"We will look out for each other," he agrees, shifting so that Lan Zhan must look at him. "Beginning with your breakfast, which you have not finished."

Lan Zhan cannot help the huff of surprised, helpless laughter, immediately ducking his head out of instinct as his shoulders shake.

"It is cold," he murmurs, unable to look at Wei Ying but still enjoying the ability to whine, just a little bit. Food is not to go cold but at all costs, food is especially never to go uneaten.

"Would Wei Ying like something to drink? Have tea or may allow a little wine."

"Lan Zhan is laughing," says Wei Wuxian, eyes wide. It is so extraordinary that he nearly forgets to feel guilty over ruining his meal. "I'm sorry," he says, rubbing Lan Zhan's shuddering back, "I was too distracting. Surely the kitchens could warm it for us? And tea."

Tea is better while his belly is full. Wine will work far better when it is not.

"Wei Ying's distraction is a good trade for cold soup," says, leaning up to kiss Wei Ying's cheek before sitting up and kneeing carefully off the bed.

There is no need for such a luxury as warming the soup. The small confession (such as it was) that he did not enjoy cold soup was enjoyable enough. More would be ridiculous. "Tea is still warm," he promises, setting out two cups to pour, one with a little honey already added to the bottom.

"Does Wei Ying have other ideas for screens?"

"Nothing so fleshed out as the bunny path," says Wei Wuxian, gladly accepting the tea. He's never much cared whether he drank it or water, but it's been harder to keep warm since his injury, and the warmth against his palms is welcome.

"The pond, perhaps, in front of the Silent Room. The Cold Cave. Does Lan Zhan have any requests?"

The thinks, briefly, of gentians. He thinks of the trees in front of his mother's house, blooming purple and entirely out of place every spring. But it seems somehow inappropriate, too tragic, perhaps.

He shakes his head, wishing he knew enough of Lotus Pier to make specific suggestions of his own.

"And of Wei Ying's home? Screens for Lotus Pier? he asks before picking up his own tea.

"There will already be lotuses in the wooden panels," says Wei Wuxian, though he would hardly mind more. "Perhaps," he says, his eyes somehow both darkening and shining with new light, "There could be a special series in the bedroom. The exploits of the Yiling Patriarch and Hanguang-Jun. The tortoise, the dancing goddess, the fall of Wen Rouhan!"

How a person could endure in such a room and not get their blood up is beyond him. He wonders if they would ever leave.

"Cannot dedicate a bedroom to praising our exploits," Lan Zhan mildly, even as he hides the beginnings of a smile behind his cup.

He makes a mental note to check any art projects Wei Ying plans for their bedroom. That is a look that does not bode well if left unchecked.

"Want a proper bathtub," he decides, feeling a little bold at the declaration. "Big enough for both of us."

"That will be a very large bath," laughs Wei Wuxian, and it is not a no. "In the style of our homeland, yes? Not the strange, shallow long ones." Wei Wuxian has found he prefers rain-like showering now that it is known to him, but one need only insert Lan Zhan into the tub to hasten its siren call.

And he will make those screens. It is their own room, no one will see them anyway! There could even be a special, double-sided one surrounding the tub. One with lots of room for exploits.

It would be an entirely ridiculous bathtub. It would be indulgent, a waste of materials and entirely inappropriate.

Lan Zhan very much wants one.

"Mm, only babies lie down in the bath water," he intones, forehead creasing in distaste at the thought of the communal, coffin like bathtub down the hallway. "Like the idea of washing Wei Ying's hair for him."

"Oh," says Wei Wuxian at once, "You must, it is my least favorite task." But the thought of Lan Zhan's long fingers in his hair each day, massaging his scalp and meticulously coaxing out tangles...this is a tub that must be made with stout material indeed.

He cocks his head. "I think I would like washing yours, though. Even if it were not attached to you, it is like silk. Mine has its own mind when it is wet."

The idea of Wei Ying doing so to him is enticing enough to make Lan Zhan pause, trying to imagine that such indulgence could be his. There would be no rule against it in this place. The thought is frightening it is so foreign.

"Like Wei Ying's hair," he finally murmurs, watching as even now unruly pieces stick out in waves. "Would not suit Wei Ying to have hair that behaved. Like the waves and the curls when it is wet. Suits you."

Wei Wuxian looks up to find Lan Zhan's eyes fixed to the area around his topknot. It is messier than usual, for reaching up eventually causes him pain, but now he wonders if even this is too much. Is his messy hair enticing?

It is certainly an avenue to be explored. Wei Wuxian grins. "Ah. This is your ploy to keep me in the bathtub."

"Hanguang-Jun would not do such a thing," he murmurs, face entirely shameless as he moves back to the bed and starts to unwind Wei Ying's ribbon. He cannot fault him but it does look like a child's attempt and Lan Zhan very much wants to touch his hair.

"But I do like Wei Ying's hair. Like that only I touch it."