yiling_laozu | (no subject)

(no subject)

He's so tired. So heavy. He's been fighting the current for what feels like hours, yet the shore he can scarcely make out through the water in his eyes never draws closer.

Arm over arm. Kick. Kick. Breathe.

They're motions Wei Wuxian could make in his sleep. For the first time since he startled from slumber to the phantom slither of a whip, Wei Wuxian wonders if he'll die making them too. He should have ignored it, ignored her, but even in death Madam Yu is not a woman who will hear no.

Not even fully corporeal, her specter stands on the far shore, watching him struggle with disapproval in every hard line of her face. Despite his fatigue, Wei Wuxian shudders, words from long ago rising to his ears as if carried on the wind.

If you want to slack off and swim while the others train, swim then. Swim until I say you can stop. Zidian is waiting for you if you fail, boy.

In his youth, Wei Wuxian survived by making a game of it. He treated her torments and tests as trials to make himself stronger, more resilient, a better disciple for Yunmeng whether she wished it or not. He'd been younger then, stronger, and even when she whipped him Wei Wuxian still had a core.

Now he has nothing but the faint lights of home at his back and a growing sense of despair. If he stops now, he'll be lucky if Zidian is the worst thing to find him, for the current of the river is only growing stronger, threatening to sweep him away the moment he falters.

Surely he can stop soon. Surely, even at her angriest, Madam Yu wouldn't actually kill him.

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Lan Wangji has finally, mercifully, fallen asleep. The first couple of nights they'd attempted to soothe his mind with alcohol had led to drunken shenanigans including an unheated trip to their outdoor tub which Lan Wangji had thoroughly enjoyed in spite of Wei Ying's protests, a complete rearrangement of their kitchen which has resulted in a lost stirring spoon and their chicken coop now covered in intricate carvings.

Tonight has done much, much better. Up until to the point that Lan Wangji wakes up from a nightmare that he cannot recall but left him gasping and sweating and alone in bed. He stumbles from bed, startling the cats as he strides through the house, hair askew in a way it would normally never dare to find only dark corners and silence.

"Wei Ying!" he shouts as he throws open the front door, ears straining for any answer other than the soft sounds of Bunny shifting straw in her hutch and the odd cluck from their newly decorated coop.

Through the water in his ears he hears a voice. Could it be his own again, as he works and strains against the water? No, he lost the strength to so much as grunt in effort long ago, every breath now a gasp. Still, Wei Wuxian lifts his chin, levering it as best he can out of the churning water to give a single, pitiful cry.

If it's his Lan Zhan, even Madam Yu wouldn't dare to strike him.

His heads snaps immediately towards the river at the soft noise, cursing himself as he runs towards the roiling water for not being more attuned to Wei Ying. He should have heard him leave the house, should have felt this as his zhàngfū. He should not have allowed himself to become muddled.

He spares a shocked glance at Madam Yu and the purple glow of Zidian, narrowing his eyes and daring her to try before launching himself in the water.

"Hold on!" he shouts, wading towards in almost deep enough to swim for Wei Ying, the current already pulling at his legs.

Perhaps in calmer times Wei Wuxian will wonder what it says of his filial piety that at the first sound of his zhàngfū's voice he turns from the woman that raised him, swimming in feeble strokes towards the smear of white in the roaring water that surrounds them both. Even so, what temporary ecstasy he feels is short lived, for with a stab of panic he realizes that his Lan Zhan is strong, but he can't swim as well as Wei Wuxian can, and the river is particularly angry tonight.

With new strength, Wei Wuxian doubles his efforts, kicking hard towards the last place he saw his husband.

"Be calm," he orders as Wei Ying struggles towards him before diving in, shocked at the feeling of the current immediately sweeping him downstream as he fights against it, towards his husband. All he can see is Wei Ying's pale face and the whites of his eyes in the darkness and he has the sickening realization that if he goes under, that is all he'll see in the fast, black water as well.

"Do not look at her!"

Whittled down to instincts, Wei Wuxian obeys without trying, forgetting Madam Yu entirely as the singular purpose of removing Lan Wangji from the water floods away all other thought. He kicks as hard as he can, leaden limbs dragging him one shì cùn closer for every breath he sucks into beleaguered lungs.

"Lan Zhan," he manages, wet and desperate. "Lan Zhan, the water is too strong for you."

"Focus on staying in place, I will come to you," Lan Wangji spits, ignoring any warnings of water. As if he would turn back, would leave Wei Ying to drown. His shoulders ache with the strange strain of fighting through water, the sheer movement and strength it took to keep himself moving in the desired direction.

He has no idea how long Wei Ying has done so but feels there is little fight left.

He can hear Madam Yu's angry voice and hear the crackle of Zidian waiting on the shore.

Wei Wuxian nods, though he isn't sure what Lan Wangji will do once he reaches him. Let the current take them, perhaps - anywhere is better than here. As if on queue, his hairs stand on end, the air around him beginning to sizzle in a way that can only mean Zidian is about to fly once more. Not even its cruel length can reach him in the water, but just the sharp crack of her through the air is enough to steal his breath, dark spots growing at the edge of his vision. He tries to push forward, but his limbs are even more useless than before, and with horror Wei Wuxian watches as Lan Wangji grows more distant through the flood.

Lan Wangji will chastise himself later for not having putting for effort in perfecting his swimming abilities, not allowing more lessons from Wei Ying, not having spent enough time integrating his magic with water skills.

When the crack of Zidian casts a dull purple glow on the dark water and Wei Ying's head slips under, he knows this will be his fault if he cannot save him.

He dives under the water and turns to swim with the current as fast as he can, eyes scanning the turbulent water for any flash of pale skin. He has to get past Wei Ying and catch him or he'll be lost to the night and Lan Wangji stupidly left all his weapons behind, another failure Wei Ying cannot afford. Finally, just ahead on his left he sees a white hand and a glimpse of Wei Ying's face and swims as hard as he can, twisting suddenly to let Wei Ying crash into him.

The water wraps around his legs like steel bands, and Wei Wuxian is helpless as he's sucked beneath, lost now in a dark, dizzying whirl as his body flies beneath the churn. With his eyes wide in hopes of discovering which way is up, Wei Wuxian holds his breath, but suddenly he strikes something so solid that he gasps. Water floods into his lungs, and Wei Wuxian chokes, swallowing even more water as he tries to expel what's already invaded him. The tree he struck must have its roots around him, and Wei Wuxian gives in to stark panic, struggling wildly in its hold.

The second Wei Ying slams into him, he wraps his arms as tight as he can, not expecting him to fight back, Wei Ying's diminished strength aided by sharp elbows and knees. There is no time to do anything but start kicking upwards, towards the dim light of the moon Lan Wangji can only just make out as Wei Ying's struggle threatens to hold them both under the cold water.

His fingers dig into Wei Ying's robes, sure to leave bruises as he fights to get them both above water as he tries to pin Wei Ying's arms against his side.

The more entangled he becomes, the harder Wei Wuxian struggles, but his exhausted limbs only grow weaker as his lungs squeeze. As his mouth opens to draw an involuntary breath of river water, Wei Wuxian thinks the water is growing brighter somehow -

- and then he can't see anything at all, but the endless darkness dragging him under.

Wei Ying thrashes and kicks until he very suddenly does not, Lan Wangji kicking as hard as he can for the last few week before they both break above the surface, only Lan Wangji taking a gasping breath.

They've washed too far downstream to see the glow of either their home or Zidian so all of his focus is swimming towards the shore as he keeps Wei Ying's head above water.

"Wei Ying!" he shouts as he swims, trying to dig his fist into Wei Ying's diaphragm as he drags him along, hoping to force the water up or at least get him to wake up.

For a while it's silent, and Wei Wuxian drifts, comfortable in the strange euphoria that fills his entire body. He wants to stay there forever, but bit by bit, discomfort takes its place. Wei Wuxian's pale brow furrows. It isn't so peaceful, suddenly, a dull throbbing in his belly and a tightness in his lungs that won't stop pulling. His body jerks in Lan Wangji's hold, spasming, but the tightness in his lungs won't let him escape the darkness.

There is no time for anything but a brief flash of relief at Wei Ying's movement as he fights against the current. It takes a few more, long moments before they reach the shore and Lan Wangji drags both their bodies onto the soft grass only to stare down in horror at Wei Ying's struggling, spasming chest.

His body moves faster than his mind, flipping Wei Ying onto his side, belly against Lan Wangji's knee and striking his hand hard between Wei Ying's shoulder blades. It'll bruise, it will bruise and Lan Wangji swears he will make it up to him once he is dry and safe.

"Breathe."

The pressure reaches a crescendo, and then pain explodes through Wei Wuxian's middle, rocketing him to consciousness in the same moment that his body convulses harder than ever before, expelling water from his lungs in bursts that burn like fire. He coughs and coughs until he wretches, and then Wei Wuxian is vomiting, too, river water and remains of his dinner. It seems to go on for ages, until Wei Wuxian can only lie there, panting in the sodden grass.

A ragged breath leaves Lan Wangji as he gently pulls Wei Ying away from the sick and eases his upper body into Lan Wangji's lap as he coughs and shakes.

"You're alright, you're alright," he whispers, leaning down to kiss Wei Ying's forehead as he pushes wet hair carefully out of his face. He looks so small and fragile, just flashes of pale skin and sodden dark robes and hair against Lan Wangji's pale under robe. "Try and breathe with me. In and out. Slowly."

Wei Wuxian's fingers flex, but he's too exhausted to lift his arms, eyes barely slits as he peers up at Lan Wangji all but glowing in the darkness. He's saying something to him, but Wei Wuxian can only stare, pulling small bits of oxygen into lungs that spasm and itch, burning each time he breathes in, aching when he breathes out.

When he thinks he can manage it, Wei Wuxian cracks his lips, his feeble voice pitiful to his own ears. "Yu Fu- furen. Where?"

"She cannot get to you, will not get to you," he promises, murmuring against Wei Ying's cold temple as he bundles him close as best as he can manage. He does not understand how that woman could be here but he will destroy her if she dares show herself. He will not make the mistake of letting his guard down, again.

He raises a hand to summon Bichen from their home, hoping meanly that it finds her on its way to him, and shifts Wei Ying around to sit up straighter against his chest.

"All you need to do is breathe; I am here now. Am sorry it took me so long."

Wei Wuxian goes where he is manhandled, too weak to resist and unwilling to do so were he not. He doesn't deserve the warmth of Lan Wangji's embrace, but he curls greedily into it, eyes travelling unerringly to the place he last saw her.

He doesn't question her presence. Any can come to Darrow, and that doesn't exclude the people he has wronged. "It's never been so long before," he whispers. "She always let me stop. Eventually."

Lan Wangji takes a slow, measured breath to control his anger once he realizes Wei Ying does not mean here, only here. He hates the woman, would take pleasure in destroying her and will not tolerate any defense that Wei Ying might make born out of his low opinion of himself.

A part of him hopes she is still here so that he can hunt her down. But Wei Ying needs him. A soft noise catches his attention and he snatches Bichen out of the air, lowering it beside Wei Ying before taking his face in both hands.

"Never again," he vows, prepare to stand sentinel every night until he can confirm either her demise or disappearance. "That is not your life, here. Will not allow it. You are mine."

Wei Wuxian draws a shaky breath as a strength not even the water could take from him returns to his limbs. Lan Wangji is his husband, his zhangfu. He belongs to him more deeply than he ever belonged to Yunmeng. Wei Wuxian grips Lan Wangji's wrists, taking comfort in strong bones and warm flesh beneath his fingertips. His Lan Zhan won't allow her near him again, no matter what argument Wei Wuxian's guilty conscience might make.

"I'm yours," he agrees, smiling despite his pallor. "Ah, my Lan Zhan is so handsome when he says such things."

"Ridiculous," Lan Wangji huffs as he hugs Wei Ying close, frowning as he feels his cold body shivering against his own. He needs to be warm and safe, now.

"Will fly us home, faster than carrying," he announces, Bichen unsheathing with a flick of Lan Wangji's fingers, floating alongside them. He stands smoothly, lifting Wei Ying's too light body with little effort as he carefully adjusts him in his grip.

"Agree?" He will do so without agreement, but likes to offer the choice. Even if it means nothing.

Wei Wuxian nods at once, eager to be in the safety of their home. He ought never have left it, regardless of the smear of purple he'd seen out their bedroom window. "Lan Zhan," he says, snuggling shamelessly into him. Every breath he takes still burns, the ache worsening in the cold, but it's not his first concern just now.

He peers over Lan Wangji's shoulder into the darkness. "What if she's still there?"

He steps neatly onto the sword, rising carefully into the cool night air, keeping a keen eye out for exactly such a threat. His arms are iron bands around Wei Ying, his one and only priority. Even if she is there, if Wei Ying is started, he will be safe in his zhangfu's arms.

"If she is there, I will take care of it," he bites out as they head back up over the river, no such purple glow showing itself yet. "I am Hanguang-Jun. She will fall if she attempts to harm you, again."