Wei Wuxian (
yiling_laozu) wrote2023-10-26 09:38 pm
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He's so tired. So heavy. He's been fighting the current for what feels like hours, yet the shore he can scarcely make out through the water in his eyes never draws closer.
Arm over arm. Kick. Kick. Breathe.
They're motions Wei Wuxian could make in his sleep. For the first time since he startled from slumber to the phantom slither of a whip, Wei Wuxian wonders if he'll die making them too. He should have ignored it, ignored her, but even in death Madam Yu is not a woman who will hear no.
Not even fully corporeal, her specter stands on the far shore, watching him struggle with disapproval in every hard line of her face. Despite his fatigue, Wei Wuxian shudders, words from long ago rising to his ears as if carried on the wind.
If you want to slack off and swim while the others train, swim then. Swim until I say you can stop. Zidian is waiting for you if you fail, boy.
In his youth, Wei Wuxian survived by making a game of it. He treated her torments and tests as trials to make himself stronger, more resilient, a better disciple for Yunmeng whether she wished it or not. He'd been younger then, stronger, and even when she whipped him Wei Wuxian still had a core.
Now he has nothing but the faint lights of home at his back and a growing sense of despair. If he stops now, he'll be lucky if Zidian is the worst thing to find him, for the current of the river is only growing stronger, threatening to sweep him away the moment he falters.
Surely he can stop soon. Surely, even at her angriest, Madam Yu wouldn't actually kill him.
Arm over arm. Kick. Kick. Breathe.
They're motions Wei Wuxian could make in his sleep. For the first time since he startled from slumber to the phantom slither of a whip, Wei Wuxian wonders if he'll die making them too. He should have ignored it, ignored her, but even in death Madam Yu is not a woman who will hear no.
Not even fully corporeal, her specter stands on the far shore, watching him struggle with disapproval in every hard line of her face. Despite his fatigue, Wei Wuxian shudders, words from long ago rising to his ears as if carried on the wind.
If you want to slack off and swim while the others train, swim then. Swim until I say you can stop. Zidian is waiting for you if you fail, boy.
In his youth, Wei Wuxian survived by making a game of it. He treated her torments and tests as trials to make himself stronger, more resilient, a better disciple for Yunmeng whether she wished it or not. He'd been younger then, stronger, and even when she whipped him Wei Wuxian still had a core.
Now he has nothing but the faint lights of home at his back and a growing sense of despair. If he stops now, he'll be lucky if Zidian is the worst thing to find him, for the current of the river is only growing stronger, threatening to sweep him away the moment he falters.
Surely he can stop soon. Surely, even at her angriest, Madam Yu wouldn't actually kill him.
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He has no idea how long Wei Ying has done so but feels there is little fight left.
He can hear Madam Yu's angry voice and hear the crackle of Zidian waiting on the shore.
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When the crack of Zidian casts a dull purple glow on the dark water and Wei Ying's head slips under, he knows this will be his fault if he cannot save him.
He dives under the water and turns to swim with the current as fast as he can, eyes scanning the turbulent water for any flash of pale skin. He has to get past Wei Ying and catch him or he'll be lost to the night and Lan Wangji stupidly left all his weapons behind, another failure Wei Ying cannot afford. Finally, just ahead on his left he sees a white hand and a glimpse of Wei Ying's face and swims as hard as he can, twisting suddenly to let Wei Ying crash into him.
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His fingers dig into Wei Ying's robes, sure to leave bruises as he fights to get them both above water as he tries to pin Wei Ying's arms against his side.
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- and then he can't see anything at all, but the endless darkness dragging him under.
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They've washed too far downstream to see the glow of either their home or Zidian so all of his focus is swimming towards the shore as he keeps Wei Ying's head above water.
"Wei Ying!" he shouts as he swims, trying to dig his fist into Wei Ying's diaphragm as he drags him along, hoping to force the water up or at least get him to wake up.
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His body moves faster than his mind, flipping Wei Ying onto his side, belly against Lan Wangji's knee and striking his hand hard between Wei Ying's shoulder blades. It'll bruise, it will bruise and Lan Wangji swears he will make it up to him once he is dry and safe.
"Breathe."
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"You're alright, you're alright," he whispers, leaning down to kiss Wei Ying's forehead as he pushes wet hair carefully out of his face. He looks so small and fragile, just flashes of pale skin and sodden dark robes and hair against Lan Wangji's pale under robe. "Try and breathe with me. In and out. Slowly."
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When he thinks he can manage it, Wei Wuxian cracks his lips, his feeble voice pitiful to his own ears. "Yu Fu- furen. Where?"
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He raises a hand to summon Bichen from their home, hoping meanly that it finds her on its way to him, and shifts Wei Ying around to sit up straighter against his chest.
"All you need to do is breathe; I am here now. Am sorry it took me so long."
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He doesn't question her presence. Any can come to Darrow, and that doesn't exclude the people he has wronged. "It's never been so long before," he whispers. "She always let me stop. Eventually."
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A part of him hopes she is still here so that he can hunt her down. But Wei Ying needs him. A soft noise catches his attention and he snatches Bichen out of the air, lowering it beside Wei Ying before taking his face in both hands.
"Never again," he vows, prepare to stand sentinel every night until he can confirm either her demise or disappearance. "That is not your life, here. Will not allow it. You are mine."
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"I'm yours," he agrees, smiling despite his pallor. "Ah, my Lan Zhan is so handsome when he says such things."
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"Will fly us home, faster than carrying," he announces, Bichen unsheathing with a flick of Lan Wangji's fingers, floating alongside them. He stands smoothly, lifting Wei Ying's too light body with little effort as he carefully adjusts him in his grip.
"Agree?" He will do so without agreement, but likes to offer the choice. Even if it means nothing.
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He peers over Lan Wangji's shoulder into the darkness. "What if she's still there?"
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"If she is there, I will take care of it," he bites out as they head back up over the river, no such purple glow showing itself yet. "I am Hanguang-Jun. She will fall if she attempts to harm you, again."
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"You are Hanguang-Jun," he repeats, relaxing slightly in Lan Wangji's arms. "She will listen to you no matter how angry she is." Madam Yu might have been frequently unreasonable, but she wasn't mad.
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He pauses, waiting until he catches Wei Ying's gaze, floating carefully down to their front yard. "Beat down thirty three Lan elders. I can handle Madame Yu. She will never look your way again."
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"I would be glad for that," he admits in a rush of filial impropriety. "I've never made her happy once in my life. It would be a relief never to have to try again."
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There is no need to clear it up he thinks as Wei Ying would take no joy in it. He would find some way to blame himself if that wretched woman ended up dead. It is irritating enough that Wei Ying feels the need to pay filial piety to her at their family altar.
He pushes into the front room and starts a roaring fire with a wave of his hand before grabbing two soft blankets from a basket. He'd found this world's fascination with blankets very strange until he'd realized how cold Wei Ying often is and immediately purchased twelve of them.
"We will stay here until you are warm," he murmurs, lowering Wei Ying onto the first blanket, unhappy with his still pale lips as he moves to pull Wei Ying's boots off.
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He moves behind Wei Ying to gently peel off the sodden fabric and stills at the deep bruises across his back, nearly identically placed to Lan Wangji's own ridged scars. "She did this?" he asks, voice strained as he moves again, sliding the sleeves all the way down to remove the robe.
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